This past weekend I had a bittersweet reunion with several old friends. Bittersweet because we were getting together to honor the memory of someone we lost to breast cancer. Our friend Dan wrote this:
As many of you have heard, Holly lost her battle with cancer Monday evening. This is terrible news indeed. Pete told me Holly is in a much better place and that she looked so peaceful when she said goodbye. Obviously, none of us thought this was going to happen so quickly, but nonetheless, the event will go on for him and the kids as planned... They still don't know about it, but we'll be telling them when the time is right. Please say a prayer for Pete and the kids as they mourn the sad loss of a wife, mother and friend to all of us.
Our friend's band, Sweet and Meaty (I'm not making that up) played their transcendental white boy funk at the event. This supergroup has been together in various forms since high school. Many an evening in my twenties was spent in the front row of various clubs dancing like a crazy person to this band. For those of you who have had the privilege of watching me groove, let us just say, it is either funny or horrifying, depending on how many drinks you have had. Let us also say there can be LOT of facial expressions and hair whipping, (depending on how many drinks I have had). You will now I am about to become markedly uninhibited when my shoes come off.
One of my best friends, and fellow groupie, Debra and I went to Holly's event together. It was wonderful to see old friends. It was also extremely sad that it took something like this to bring us together. I had to work the next morning and was a bit preoccupied with leaving early. I was driving, so I was not drinking.
The band started playing and we stood off to the side of the stage getting our groove on in a decidedly reserved (at least for me) fashion. I don't know why, but I felt it was disrespectful to let it all out on the floor. There were many more catch-up conversations, more listening to the band, more reminiscing and more laughter. I decided around midnight I needed to go. I asked Deb to grab her things and we headed up to the stage to say goodbye to the band.
We were about to head out the door, when the band launched into the Rolling Stones. Debra grabbed my purse and threw it on a table next to the stage....and we began to dance. We danced the way we did years ago, with absolute freedom and joy. Back then it was because we were hammered, now we just didn't care what anyone thought. For the next two songs I did my Solid Gold routine and Debra hopped around doing her wax on/wax off jazz/mime hands. There were facial expressions galore.
Afterwards a friend who I don't see very often came running up. I had said hello and chatted with her earlier in the evening. She grabbed me after Deb and I's little display and said, "THERE you are! WHERE have you BEEN?" In other words-why weren't you, well YOU? We are here to dance and be joyful, after all- not just make a donation.
My friend lost her father a short time ago. She was in so much pain, yet she was trying so hard to "keep it together". I don't often tell people what to do, but I did tell her this: You are not honoring your father if you don't properly grieve for him. Whatever that means......crying, laughing, dancing, etc.
When I pass, I want people to get together and be joyful. I want them to appreciate being ALIVE and savor their blessings. Show more love to those around you. I believe that this is how you honor someone.
Blessings to you all-
Blessings and prayers to Holly's family-Courtney
Holly Grout Broadhead leaves behind her husband Pete and two children, Charles and Lily. If you would like to make a donation to help offset some of the expenses their family has incurred since she had to begin treatment, please contact Dan O'Neill proneill@yahoo.com.
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