Hoarding Bliss

Yesterday I asked my students about how to fill their hearts rather than their heads. We look so often to criticize (usually ourselves) how do we look for joy? How do we recognize Grace? 

I teach every Thursday up in Bedford at the Yoga Loft. There is a wonderful Kundalini class taught by the great Sandra Perlow after my Anusara-Inspired class. Sandra walked in and she was glowing. She was moving with such grace and had a beatific expression on her face, I had to go up to her and tell her how awesome she looked. She smiled and told me that she felt wonderful, that today she had put down all the "stuff" that drags her down and was "unencumbered". I was extremely envious of her students. Just by being in her presence for those few moments, I felt lighter.

One of my all time favorite movies is the Hayley Mills classic, Pollyanna. I can actually hear your eyeballs rolling in their sockets, so I will explain. Years ago, my sister and I were fixated on the old version of The Parent Trap and Pollyanna. For those of you old enough to remember a time where there were only seven television channels and you actually had to GET UP to change the channel, you will remember those Disney family movie specials, preceded by Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. Ringing a bell? (if you are over 40-that is) My sister and I were allowed to watch them in our parents bed and it was a VERY big deal. Now in the time of one thousand channels (with very little to watch) I was flipping through the guide (not the actual TV guide-REMEMBER THAT??) with my butt on the couch and came across Pollyanna. I got so excited, I think I actually squealed.

Pollyanna is the daughter of deceased missionaries who comes to live with her cold and domineering spinster aunt. She begins to change the negative vibe of the town, not by mounting a positivity campaign, but by being her own sweet self and thus enabling people to reach for the joy in their lives. If you have just checked out due to sugar-shock, please come back to me; I have a point.

The scene that always resonates with me is when she is talking to the town preacher. He basically goes all Hellfire and Damnation every Sunday, and people hate going to church. They talk about her parents and she mentions a quote her missionary father had engraved on a locket and given her. It is attributed to Abraham Lincoln.

When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will.

I think in this world, this statement pretty much sums up the state if things. I think it also sums up our inner critic to a T. It is universal. So much negativity is literally hurled in our faces all day long. We then treat ourselves to the voice in our heads telling us all the things in our lives that are crap. HELLO, downward spiral.

A lot of the issues I have with organized religion, and this applies to spiritual teachers and yoga teachers (politicians) as well, is the message that if a certain path is not followed, well basically, it sucks to be you. If you question anything, or don't understand, well you are obviously not ready to receive whatever message is being taught. In my mind, the simple joy of reaching for the divine- whatever that means to YOU- is lost in all of the rhetoric, the I'm right and your wrong and negativity in general.

Ten positive comments are wiped out by one negative comment. I can say ten wonderful encouraging things to my students, my husband or my kids, but if I make one negative one- guess which one they are going to remember. 

When I started Anusara training, we were asked to look at a student in a yoga pose, and then help them enhance, correct or do whatever needed to be done to get them into a more healthy form of said pose. The first principle of alignment in Anusara yoga is to open to Grace. This most definitely applies to teaching. I was the first person called. I immediately looked for what was wrong. I then launched into a lengthy explanation of how I would fix the student. My teacher, Ross Rayburn (go see him if he is EVER in your area) smiled at me. I smiled back thinking how awesome I was. He said, "Did you forget something?" Crap, did I? "I don't think so...." I replied. He smiled wider. "Okay, what did I forget?" 

He replied, "The first principle of alignment." 

Eh?

He told me to look at the student again and see everything that was RIGHT rather than wrong. To see what was BEAUTIFUL first. If I critique a student and tell them what they are doing wrong...is that going to help them move forward? If I tell them what is good, and then how to make it even better....is that perhaps a bit more empowering? Duh. This is the student's journey, not mine. I am just the tour guide to help them with the view.

That has been, to this day, the single most important thing I have ever learned as a teacher. I try very hard to apply it to everything in my head and my heart. Should I lie to people? No. Sometimes it isn't easy to find the joy or beauty in what I see or think. I want to fight, argue or just be downright negative.

This is why when I see someone like Sandra, I am happy to bask in her glow. I am not trying to suck her energy like a spiritual vampire, but I appreciate where she is, it lifts me up. It makes me want to turn to a positive place. Perhaps someone will sense that in me. It is not trying to take it all in, or give it all away- that is not beneficial for anyone. But it is recognizable, people DO sense it.

I make no secret of promoting people or studios I find wonderful. An owner once admonished me for this. I loved how my friend Rebekah put it. What is the point of hoarding students? If you create a heart-centered loving environment, people will come and teachers will stay. If you promote things that resonate with you in a positive light, you will get that back in spades. 

When I am in a dark place, I don't fake joy and I don't think anyone else should either. I do think that I reach for whatever can get me through the next breath, whether it is a yoga class, my child's laugh or my friend simply listening to me. I used to close myself off for protection, now I reach for the light. I may not see it, but it is there. 

When there is good energy, reach for it. The negative will always be there. Respect that everyone has their own journey- and guess what, just because it might be different from yours doesn't make it less valid. Someone will always be there to tell you, you are wrong- look for the person who will buoy you UP. (In an authentic way- not just by blowing sunshine up your, well, you get the picture) Be that person for someone else. When you are blessed, pass it on. And pardon my french......tell your inner critic to fuck OFF.

That being said...Namaste...The light in me honors the light in all of you.