After a fabulous solitary lunch with a good book, I made my way up the Avenue. I stopped in Starbucks and used a free drink coupon for the most ridiculously over-priced coffee they sell and overheard a woman talking about the friends and family sale in Scoop- everything 20% off. Hmmmmmm........
Now it is no secret to anyone who knows me that I love well made clothing. I love luxury fabrics. I LOVE a beautiful shoe (I think it is because my feet are always bare). I love obscure designers with interesting points of view- I never miss Project Runway. I am NOT ashamed to admit this. I have champagne tastes and a beer budget- so thank goodness for consignment stores, final sales and ebay. So it couldn't hurt to stop in Scoop. Trying on is free!! Off I went to Scoop.
In the store there was a group of women shopping together. Each of them was carrying a handbag that cost more than my mortgage payment. I am not a class warrior, but these women were getting on my nerves in a BIG way. It wasn't the fact that they were obviously not worried about finances, it was the way they kept walking around grabbing things in a proprietary yet bored fashion. A nanny was chasing one of their children around the store. I was looking at a beautiful sweater and I heard a voice behind me say, "Oh, excuse me, are you just looking at that or are you going to try it on?" I turned around to a very thin blondish woman carrying a mortgage payment on her arm and a slightly annoyed expression on her face. Well I wasn't going to before, but I sure as HELL was going to try it on now. Never mind that it cost four weeks salary.
So here I am in a dressing room next to this bitch posse who have half of the staff at their beck and call trying on a sweater I can't afford while I listen to them loudly ask each other if this dress makes them look fat- or do you think they make this in a smaller size? One woman in particular kept talking about what she NEEDED. I NEED a new this that and the OTHER thing. I stood staring at my reflection in the mirror in this beautiful garment. I wanted to start screaming, "YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T NEED ANYTHING YOU HORRIBLE WOMEN- YOU DON"T KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT NEED- NEED AND WANT ARE DIFFERENT!! YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY BORED! YOU NEED TO EAT MORE AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN!!!"
I needed to get out of the dressing room.
I handed the sweater to a nice sales associate. I told her I wouldn't be purchasing it and she could give it to the LOVELY woman in the dressing room next to mine. I then left, continuing my journey up the avenue. I was now in a bad mood. I was going to go in Ralph Lauren to look at a dress I am going to try and convince my husband to buy me for Christmas, but I didn't even feel like walking in the store. What would make me feel better? Shoes always work! And I had to pay my bill at Saks anyways....
So now I am standing in the shoe department. Everything I like looks like something I already own (not that I was going to purchase anything). This is depressing in and of itself as I now think I am just as bad as the women in the Scoop dressing room. I trudge upstairs to pay my bill.
A sales associate I know walks forward and gives me a big hug. She asks how I am doing and I tell her about the women at Scoop and how I feel guilty and what is wrong with me? Am I awful?.... She starts laughing. It is okay to like nice things she tells me, but they are certainly not necessary in life. I smile and think of the first time we met a few years prior.
It was at the final markdown sale of the season. There was a GORGEOUS Dolce and Gabbana corset dress I was admiring and she asked if I would like to try it on. I looked at the $1400 price tag and said thank you, but no. She smiled and said, "Oh come on, just for fun!" So now I am in dressing room being zipped into this dress. "Oh my gosh...." she says. I look in the mirror. I am suddenly taller and thinner and oh my goodness I HAVE A BUST! She drags me out to the big mirror and a group of women start telling me how fabulous I look. "WHY did you make me try this on????" I wail. "Did you see it was on sale?" she asks. "I can't afford this ON SALE!" "Well let's just see, you might be surprised!" She drags me over to the cash register and explains that the dress was just returned and the sale price wasn't marked- also she can apply the extra 40% off. I stand there waiting to take the dress off- trying not to look at myself in the mirror. I cannot fall in love with this dress. She slowly turns me around and holds me my the shoulders. "Are you ready for this? $315!" I start yelling and jumping up and down- she is yelling and jumping up and down and then hugs me.
Now I know this is a LOT of money for me for a dress, but this dress is in a word AWESOME. Happy birthday, Merry Christmas, Valentine's Day, Labor Day, whatever. I am buying it. I then look around and realize that there are many other women waiting who are quite happy to wait and keep telling me that the dress was meant for me and how happy they are. I look at the sales associate and say, but why are you all so excited? She gives me a big happy smile and says, because YOU are. Now the other women are laughing and hugging me too. It was quite the moment.
This dress has since been worn many times. I always feel beautiful in it. I have loaned it out to several friends in need of a spectacular dress for a special occasion. Did I need it? No. I wanted it. I remember all the nice things that were said to me that day and think, THIS is what making a big purchase should feel like.
The people that annoy me the most tend to be related to the part of myself that identifies with them. I don't like that spoiled child that lives somewhere inside of me. I didn't want to yell at those women, I wanted to yell at her. (Maybe I wanted to yell at them a little bit)
An artist designs something, a fabric is made, a craftsman brings the work to life. It is something to be appreciated and admired. Yes it is okay to like nice things. Of course there are more important things to worry about in life, but recognizing WANT for what it is. I never want to confuse my lifestyle with my life. I never want my lifestyle to become more important than my life. How can I appreciate these indulgences otherwise?
This past year I have consigned many pieces of clothing. I have also given away and donated a good third of my closet. I have kept all of the classic well made pieces I will have until I can't wear them anymore (My sister's girls have a hell of a wardrobe coming to them someday).
Appreciate beauty and craftmanship. Be grateful. Indulge once in a while. Be kind in the dressing room.
Rules to shop by.
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