I was cooking last weekend for friends at my home. I LOVE to cook and cooking for friends is absolutely one of my most favorite things to do. I used to cook for a living, but once I started having babies, working weekends and evenings was no longer in the cards. So now I am content to cook at home for family and friends. I have a dear friend Maria who trained and worked as a chef and occasionally she and I will plan an extravagant dinner just to dust off old skills and play ideas off of each other.
At this particular dinner party I had two of my dear friends Brian Lewis and his lovely wife Dana. My friend Melissa (who was coming to dinner) asked me if I was nervous to cook for Brian. The reason being...Brian is a world- class, well known chef about to open his own restaurant. My answer: "No." I then stated, "It's Brian."
Now the reason I say this is because Brian is in a word, gracious. He has more talent in his little finger than I do in my entire body and he has work experience that is in a word...amazing. (Seriously, look up the dude's bio.) Brian walked into my home thrilled to be there, eager to eat and happy to help. He loved everything I made, was very complimentary and let me say this, if you are doing a dinner party, it is nice to have a high caliber sous-chef at your side. After we ate, he even helped my husband do the dishes.
When you surround yourself with those who are coming from a place of grace, your life will be much more full. I am not talking about surrounding yourself with sycophants who will agree with everything you say (or compliment everything you cook). I am talking about people who see the beauty and flavor in things rather than looking to criticize.
Whether I am cooking for a top chef or teaching an amazing teacher, I have to realize that their own experience will be colored not just by what I bring to the table (or the mat), but by what their own attitude is towards the offering. Passion for what we love and experience should come from a heartfelt place.
If you you walk in expecting grace, you usually won't be disappointed. If you surround yourself with others who feel the same way, that grace radiates. Brian sent me a text the next day telling me that I shined. I have carried that compliment with me for days and even talked about it in meditation. That compliment came from an authentic heartfelt place and I felt it. I have been more conscious of complimenting others from a heartfelt place because of it.
Chef Brian Lewis will be opening his restaurant Elm in New Canaan. The website is here: www.elmrestaurant.com. I am lucky to have Brian's friendship (and Dana's xxoo) not only because he is an amazing chef, but because, he is a gracious friend.
You are the company you keep, so keep good company.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
The Blessing in the Conversation (on AND off of the mat)
Since the article which started the firestorm of emotion within the western yoga community, I have been asked quite a bit for my opinion. I think I covered that in the last post, but I have been thinking about the practice OFF of the mat. One of the things I say in class is that we practice embodying heart qualities in HERE so we can take the same qualities out THERE...into the big bad world where life gets messy.
It often happens when someone will come up to me after a class and tell me that the theme I had chosen for that day's class was exactly what they needed to hear. It has certainly happened to me enough times when a teacher has said something that resonated with me so strongly I walked away chewing on it for several days. I think when you come to practice with an open heart, you are more apt to listen and take things in from a place of softness. I listen better, basically to receive whatever is offered in the "Great Conversation" as my friend Loren calls it.
Before I wrote my last post I received a letter from a friend of my Mom's, Abby. Abby is a yoga teacher in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida. She also went through what I consider the absolute worst thing in the world a human being can experience. Abby lost a child.
I am lucky to spend a week every year visiting my parents and taking classes with the Ponte Vedra Beach Kula. I had known about the accident and was so deeply saddened. I wanted to do something, but felt that it would be presumptuous to reach out to someone I did not know very well. I have a small book with reflections on Grace. I asked my mother to please give it to Abby and tell her that I was thinking of her and her family.
I received this email a few days ago. I was deeply touched and I asked her permission to post it.
Courtney,
Happy New Year! I heard you and the boys had a wonderful time with your parents over the holidays. I wanted to tell you a story about the opening up to grace book you gave me a while back.
I went to synagogue this week-end with my husband. I was raised Jewish, he Catholic, though we regularly go to synagogue in PV because of our close relationship with the Rabbi there. It is custom during every service that you say a prayer for the deceased. It is called Kaddish and it comes at the end of the service. Another tradition is to say aloud the names of those dear that have passed on. This is relative to the Holocaust, when people no longer were recognized and acknowledged by their names, but by a number. There is no sweeter word, believe me, than to hear the name of your loved one that is no longer here.
Well, before the Kaddish prayer, our Rabbi asks us if anyone would like to read a passage from the prayer book that we use. There are about 12 prayers reflecting on passing, love lost, etc...
I ALWAYS carry my book with me from you, so I asked to read one of the passages. It was the following:
None of us is exempt from sorrow, hardships, and storms of living. Not the amassing of fortune or friends, or even good deeds exempt us. The most we can wish for is the abundance of grace, the possession of faith in the fundamental goodness of the world, the healing presence and power of love, and the strength of heart and character to handle what will inevitably arrive from time to time to try us.....
Courtney, thank you for the book. There was a family there with a very fresh grief and they came to me after to tell me how much that passage meant. My Rabbi came and told me how moving it was. I was glad to bring some peace to those that are desperately in need of it.
Blessings and love,
Abby
Yoga means yoke, or union. We are all here to listen better, support one another from a place of grace and loving kindness. We continue this great conversation, giving and receiving authentically and it grows. How you live your life and participate in the conversation, both sharing AND listening is part of the practice. You might fall in class. Hopefully you pick yourself up and continue without letting your ego or fear get in the way and listen to your body and inhale and exhale and move forward. When we fall in life, hopefully yoga helps us do the same off of the mat. Hopefully we are more empowered to support others, in and out of the Kula, when they might need it.
Thank you, Abby, for allowing me to share this. Thank you for sharing your blessings and contributions to the "conversation" with those in and out of class. You remind me why I practice.
It often happens when someone will come up to me after a class and tell me that the theme I had chosen for that day's class was exactly what they needed to hear. It has certainly happened to me enough times when a teacher has said something that resonated with me so strongly I walked away chewing on it for several days. I think when you come to practice with an open heart, you are more apt to listen and take things in from a place of softness. I listen better, basically to receive whatever is offered in the "Great Conversation" as my friend Loren calls it.
Before I wrote my last post I received a letter from a friend of my Mom's, Abby. Abby is a yoga teacher in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida. She also went through what I consider the absolute worst thing in the world a human being can experience. Abby lost a child.
I am lucky to spend a week every year visiting my parents and taking classes with the Ponte Vedra Beach Kula. I had known about the accident and was so deeply saddened. I wanted to do something, but felt that it would be presumptuous to reach out to someone I did not know very well. I have a small book with reflections on Grace. I asked my mother to please give it to Abby and tell her that I was thinking of her and her family.
I received this email a few days ago. I was deeply touched and I asked her permission to post it.
Courtney,
Happy New Year! I heard you and the boys had a wonderful time with your parents over the holidays. I wanted to tell you a story about the opening up to grace book you gave me a while back.
I went to synagogue this week-end with my husband. I was raised Jewish, he Catholic, though we regularly go to synagogue in PV because of our close relationship with the Rabbi there. It is custom during every service that you say a prayer for the deceased. It is called Kaddish and it comes at the end of the service. Another tradition is to say aloud the names of those dear that have passed on. This is relative to the Holocaust, when people no longer were recognized and acknowledged by their names, but by a number. There is no sweeter word, believe me, than to hear the name of your loved one that is no longer here.
Well, before the Kaddish prayer, our Rabbi asks us if anyone would like to read a passage from the prayer book that we use. There are about 12 prayers reflecting on passing, love lost, etc...
I ALWAYS carry my book with me from you, so I asked to read one of the passages. It was the following:
None of us is exempt from sorrow, hardships, and storms of living. Not the amassing of fortune or friends, or even good deeds exempt us. The most we can wish for is the abundance of grace, the possession of faith in the fundamental goodness of the world, the healing presence and power of love, and the strength of heart and character to handle what will inevitably arrive from time to time to try us.....
Courtney, thank you for the book. There was a family there with a very fresh grief and they came to me after to tell me how much that passage meant. My Rabbi came and told me how moving it was. I was glad to bring some peace to those that are desperately in need of it.
Blessings and love,
Abby
Yoga means yoke, or union. We are all here to listen better, support one another from a place of grace and loving kindness. We continue this great conversation, giving and receiving authentically and it grows. How you live your life and participate in the conversation, both sharing AND listening is part of the practice. You might fall in class. Hopefully you pick yourself up and continue without letting your ego or fear get in the way and listen to your body and inhale and exhale and move forward. When we fall in life, hopefully yoga helps us do the same off of the mat. Hopefully we are more empowered to support others, in and out of the Kula, when they might need it.
Thank you, Abby, for allowing me to share this. Thank you for sharing your blessings and contributions to the "conversation" with those in and out of class. You remind me why I practice.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Freakin' out....
So everyone is losing their minds over this New York Times article about how Yoga is bad for you. I myself can remember reading many a New York Times article that references how GOOD yoga is for you. It made me think of similar instances when something was revered as a health revolution only to be told days, months, years later that in fact, it was harmful.
I remember when I started practicing there were two studios within a thirty minute drive from my house. I would plan my valuable babysitting time around a class. I took what I was being taught at face value. It is yoga, it must be good for me! I searched for classes at various gyms, so desperate was I to find a class that also came with childcare. I LOVED going to class. I CRAVED going to class. If you asked me then what the reason was, I don't think I could have honestly answered because it was not something I could put into words. It was a feeling. In the beginning of my studentship I knew I was in the right place, I just couldn't articulate the WHY. It wasn't ego driven, because, let's face it, I felt like a newborn colt doing most poses. I fell A LOT.
It was when I discovered the powerful Ashtanga Yoga that I lost my mind. I started going five times a week and practicing every day. I was voracious in my approach to asana. I flung myself into the practice without a thought. Was this my teacher's fault? NO. I let my ego-driven pursuit of the perfect posture take over. I lost sight of the original why. I was a terrible listener, both to my teachers and my own body. I was also very annoying. I would bother anyone talking about the miracle of Yoga. I was going a million miles an hour. I was so desperate for a class one day that I took an Anusara class. A type of Yoga I had never even heard of. The lovely teacher kept coming back to me trying to help me put my body in more gracious alignment. I hated it. (She probably wasn't that thrilled with me either...) I kept thinking, what is it going to take to keep this woman away from me so I can practice???? I'm never coming back to this teacher again!
Well, one pregnancy and broken arm later, (neither of which were caused by yoga) I found myself back in class. Back in Anusara class. I figured it would be an okay place to be until I could get strong enough to go back to my "regular" practice. Then something unexpected happened.
I remembered the WHY.
I simply felt I needed to be there. I began listening again with my heart. I know that sounds ridiculously cheesy, but it was true. My ego simmered down and I started to realize the importance not only of the quality of the teacher, but the quality of the studentship. I needed to mature into this practice rather than tackle it. There was also such a powerful feeling of love and support coming from all sides.
My ego would rear her ugly head and I would try other things, but I kept coming back. By now there were at least twenty studios within a short drive from my house. Yoga had exploded. Also, becoming a Yoga teacher became something very attractive to many people. Myself included. I won't bore you with that journey (maybe it is too late for that) but suffice it too say after many hundreds, nay, thousands of hours spent training, teaching and learning, I still feel the need to keep learning and refining. I have a very patient loving teacher who observes and empowers me to refine my own skills. She has an incredible background in anatomy, therapeutics and has had access to many amazing teachers and the gifts they have to offer. She now shares them with me. (Shout out Kate!)
So I guess what I am saying is that like ANYTHING in life a yoga practice should be mindful, not mindless. Research and know the background of your teacher. Tell your ego to shut the HELL up. Listen to your heart and what your body is telling you. A good teacher will not ask you to do something you are not ready to do. A great student will listen.
I wrote an article awhile back about a vinyasa class I took where I had to close my eyes because the woman in front of me was driving me crazy with her shoulder placement. One of the points of that post was that you CAN get hurt in a yoga class. I wanted to grab that woman afterwards and plead with her to go to a class that emphasizes alignment, if only to spare her the pain of any injury borne out of her practice. What I realize when I want to do this is that I want to go back in time and plead with myself.
I would not have listened.
It took time for me to realize that what I call the "disco" poses in yoga are cool and fun to try, but not what is in the majority of my practice. I need to be mature and heart centered in every pose. As a teacher, my job is to keep my students safe on their journey. I have had on rare occasion a student walk out because they thought the class "wasn't hard enough" or I wouldn't let them come into a pose. This is okay. I gracefully wave goodbye to them and wish them luck on their journey. In a way I am waving goodbye to that earlier version of myself.
Oh and that teacher who so annoyed me.......my arm is around her in the group shot of Anusara lovelies. She is now a very important teacher and influence in my life. (Shout out Bernie, Happy Birthday gorgeous!!)
Soft Heart, Sharp Mind, Vibrant Body
I remember when I started practicing there were two studios within a thirty minute drive from my house. I would plan my valuable babysitting time around a class. I took what I was being taught at face value. It is yoga, it must be good for me! I searched for classes at various gyms, so desperate was I to find a class that also came with childcare. I LOVED going to class. I CRAVED going to class. If you asked me then what the reason was, I don't think I could have honestly answered because it was not something I could put into words. It was a feeling. In the beginning of my studentship I knew I was in the right place, I just couldn't articulate the WHY. It wasn't ego driven, because, let's face it, I felt like a newborn colt doing most poses. I fell A LOT.
It was when I discovered the powerful Ashtanga Yoga that I lost my mind. I started going five times a week and practicing every day. I was voracious in my approach to asana. I flung myself into the practice without a thought. Was this my teacher's fault? NO. I let my ego-driven pursuit of the perfect posture take over. I lost sight of the original why. I was a terrible listener, both to my teachers and my own body. I was also very annoying. I would bother anyone talking about the miracle of Yoga. I was going a million miles an hour. I was so desperate for a class one day that I took an Anusara class. A type of Yoga I had never even heard of. The lovely teacher kept coming back to me trying to help me put my body in more gracious alignment. I hated it. (She probably wasn't that thrilled with me either...) I kept thinking, what is it going to take to keep this woman away from me so I can practice???? I'm never coming back to this teacher again!
Well, one pregnancy and broken arm later, (neither of which were caused by yoga) I found myself back in class. Back in Anusara class. I figured it would be an okay place to be until I could get strong enough to go back to my "regular" practice. Then something unexpected happened.
I remembered the WHY.
I simply felt I needed to be there. I began listening again with my heart. I know that sounds ridiculously cheesy, but it was true. My ego simmered down and I started to realize the importance not only of the quality of the teacher, but the quality of the studentship. I needed to mature into this practice rather than tackle it. There was also such a powerful feeling of love and support coming from all sides.
My ego would rear her ugly head and I would try other things, but I kept coming back. By now there were at least twenty studios within a short drive from my house. Yoga had exploded. Also, becoming a Yoga teacher became something very attractive to many people. Myself included. I won't bore you with that journey (maybe it is too late for that) but suffice it too say after many hundreds, nay, thousands of hours spent training, teaching and learning, I still feel the need to keep learning and refining. I have a very patient loving teacher who observes and empowers me to refine my own skills. She has an incredible background in anatomy, therapeutics and has had access to many amazing teachers and the gifts they have to offer. She now shares them with me. (Shout out Kate!)
So I guess what I am saying is that like ANYTHING in life a yoga practice should be mindful, not mindless. Research and know the background of your teacher. Tell your ego to shut the HELL up. Listen to your heart and what your body is telling you. A good teacher will not ask you to do something you are not ready to do. A great student will listen.
I wrote an article awhile back about a vinyasa class I took where I had to close my eyes because the woman in front of me was driving me crazy with her shoulder placement. One of the points of that post was that you CAN get hurt in a yoga class. I wanted to grab that woman afterwards and plead with her to go to a class that emphasizes alignment, if only to spare her the pain of any injury borne out of her practice. What I realize when I want to do this is that I want to go back in time and plead with myself.
I would not have listened.
It took time for me to realize that what I call the "disco" poses in yoga are cool and fun to try, but not what is in the majority of my practice. I need to be mature and heart centered in every pose. As a teacher, my job is to keep my students safe on their journey. I have had on rare occasion a student walk out because they thought the class "wasn't hard enough" or I wouldn't let them come into a pose. This is okay. I gracefully wave goodbye to them and wish them luck on their journey. In a way I am waving goodbye to that earlier version of myself.
Oh and that teacher who so annoyed me.......my arm is around her in the group shot of Anusara lovelies. She is now a very important teacher and influence in my life. (Shout out Bernie, Happy Birthday gorgeous!!)
Soft Heart, Sharp Mind, Vibrant Body
Sunday, January 1, 2012
New Beginnings
My theme for this year is a single word.
Soften
It can be applied to many things in life. Recognizing how strong I am, physically and mentally, but also allowing vulnerability. Taking all of the stuff that drives me crazy out of my head and putting it in my heart so that I can approach it from a softer place of loving kindness.
Remembering to breathe.
Living my truth rather than speaking it.
Recognizing the beauty and grace in the world by simply taking the time to look.
I wish everyone a beautiful year.
Blessings, Courtney
Soften
It can be applied to many things in life. Recognizing how strong I am, physically and mentally, but also allowing vulnerability. Taking all of the stuff that drives me crazy out of my head and putting it in my heart so that I can approach it from a softer place of loving kindness.
Remembering to breathe.
Living my truth rather than speaking it.
Recognizing the beauty and grace in the world by simply taking the time to look.
I wish everyone a beautiful year.
Blessings, Courtney
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