Freakin' out....

So everyone is losing their minds over this New York Times article about how Yoga is bad for you. I myself can remember reading many a New York Times article that references how GOOD yoga is for you. It made me think of similar instances when something was revered as a health revolution only to be told days, months, years later that in fact, it was harmful.

I remember when I started practicing there were two studios within a thirty minute drive from my house. I would plan my valuable babysitting time around a class. I took what I was being taught at face value. It is yoga, it must be good for me! I searched for classes at various gyms, so desperate was I to find a class that also came with childcare. I LOVED going to class. I CRAVED going to class. If you asked me then what the reason was, I don't think I could have honestly answered because it was not something I could put into words. It was a feeling. In the beginning of my studentship I knew I was in the right place, I just couldn't articulate the WHY. It wasn't ego driven, because, let's face it, I felt like a newborn colt doing most poses. I fell A LOT.

It was when I discovered the powerful Ashtanga Yoga that I lost my mind. I started going five times a week and practicing every day. I was voracious in my approach to asana. I flung myself into the practice without a thought. Was this my teacher's fault? NO. I let my ego-driven pursuit of the perfect posture take over. I lost sight of the original why. I was a terrible listener, both to my teachers and my own body. I was also very annoying. I would bother anyone talking about the miracle of Yoga. I was going a million miles an hour. I was so desperate for a class one day that I took an Anusara class. A type of Yoga I had never even heard of. The lovely teacher kept coming back to me trying to help me put my body in more gracious alignment. I hated it. (She probably wasn't that thrilled with me either...) I kept thinking, what is it going to take to keep this woman away from me so I can practice???? I'm never coming back to this teacher again!

Well, one pregnancy and broken arm later, (neither of which were caused by yoga) I found myself back in class. Back in Anusara class. I figured it would be an okay place to be until I could get strong enough to go back to my "regular" practice. Then something unexpected happened.

I remembered the WHY.

I simply felt I needed to be there. I began listening again with my heart. I know that sounds ridiculously cheesy, but it was true. My ego simmered down and I started to realize the importance not only of the quality of the teacher, but the quality of the studentship. I needed to mature into this practice rather than tackle it. There was also such a powerful feeling of love and support coming from all sides.

My ego would rear her ugly head and I would try other things, but I kept coming back. By now there were at least twenty studios within a short drive from my house. Yoga had exploded. Also, becoming a Yoga teacher became something very attractive to many people. Myself included. I won't bore you with that journey (maybe it is too late for that) but suffice it too say after many hundreds, nay, thousands of hours spent training, teaching and learning, I still feel the need to keep learning and refining. I have a very patient loving teacher who observes and empowers me to refine my own skills. She has an incredible background in anatomy, therapeutics and has had access to many amazing teachers and the gifts they have to offer. She now shares them with me. (Shout out Kate!)

So I guess what I am saying is that like ANYTHING in life a yoga practice should be mindful, not mindless. Research and know the background of your teacher. Tell your ego to shut the HELL up. Listen to your heart and what your body is telling you. A good teacher will not ask you to do something you are not ready to do. A great student will listen.

I wrote an article awhile back about a vinyasa class I took where I had to close my eyes because the woman in front of me was driving me crazy with her shoulder placement. One of the points of that post was that you CAN get hurt in a yoga class. I wanted to grab that woman afterwards and plead with her to go to a class that emphasizes alignment, if only to spare her the pain of any injury borne out of her practice. What I realize when I want to do this is that I want to go back in time and plead with myself.

I would not have listened.

It took time for me to realize that what I call the "disco" poses in yoga are cool and fun to try, but not what is in the majority of my practice. I need to be mature and heart centered in every pose. As a teacher, my job is to keep my students safe on their journey. I have had on rare occasion a student walk out because they thought the class "wasn't hard enough" or I wouldn't let them come into a pose. This is okay. I gracefully wave goodbye to them and wish them luck on their journey. In a way I am waving goodbye to that earlier version of myself.

Oh and that teacher who so annoyed me.......my arm is around her in the group shot of Anusara lovelies. She is now a very important teacher and influence in my life. (Shout out Bernie, Happy Birthday gorgeous!!)

Soft Heart, Sharp Mind, Vibrant Body