Is this a bad thing? In my humble opinion, no.
A lot of people in the Western Yoga world want everyone to be nice. They want everyone to be forgiving. Isn't that what yoga is all about? Where was all of this anger and resentment coming from?Yes, JF (John Friend) royally screwed up, but isn't it yogic to forgive and move on? There were a lot of hurt, angry, confused people and total silence from the man who was the catalyst.
This has happened before in the yoga world. Amrit Desai and the whole Kripalu scandal, Siddha Yoga, pretty much anything that comes out of Bikram's mouth, and various others which you can find dotted all throughout the last hundred years plus. As my friend Annie says, it's going to KEEP happening. We are so determined to put someone on a pedestal and then ask or even BEG for validation so that we feel secure with our own place in the world, hierarchy, WHATEVER- that we just can't help ourselves. And I truly believe that when you put someone in this position, no matter what how good their intentions were in the beginning, it is almost next to impossible for them not to eventually believe in their own hype. And without doing any work to stay on a path that keeps them grounded in the real world, dangerous things can happen. People get hurt.
I had decided two weeks before the story broke not to go for full certification. My style of yoga is born out of many different traditions. I am a happy mutt and did not wish to commit fully to one school of yoga. I had already searched for validation in the eyes of a former teacher and it did not end well. It took me a while to get over that experience, so I was very sympathetic when others who had done the same thing with JF were initially processing what had happened. I had always been a lokel yokel, if you will. Rarely traveling to JF's events as time, children and expenses did not allow me to do so. I had talked to him personally all of twice. He was a very charismatic guy. I can totally understand why it was easy to get swept up in this tide.
In my mind, however, the problem is when you dress everything up in "grace" and if you don't see things this way, well something is wrong with YOU. And when the dam broke, people were either enraged or clinging to some semblance of anything to which they had dedicated a big portion of their lives. The Emperor had no clothes and it wasn't pretty. It turns out he was a regular guy who couldn't understand why those people who had supported him for so long and in some cases done some pretty unethical things FOR him would turn on him.
People process things in different ways. Real emotions and conversations started to happen and it wan't always pretty. There is anger, regret, passive aggression disguised as kindness (but was in fact- just another form of aggression and anger) a lot of holier than thou attitudes and posturing, etc....
I didn't write the blog for awhile. I couldn't. When I started writing, it would come out wrong. Some people don't want to talk about this situation with the greater public, but in my heart I think that this story is important because it doesn't just happen in the yoga world.
So here goes: Yoga is not full of perfect enlightened beings. There are a lot of complicated people in the yoga world, just as there are in any group. If we don't process how we honestly feel, we are denying ourselves the chance to grow and transform. We do not need someone to validate us. If we put someone on a pedestal, eventually that person will disappoint. We cannot change how others think, but we can put information out there that needs to be heard, especially if we feel there is potential for someone to get hurt. The opportunity to learn from others is wonderful, but in doing so it doesn't give us license to give that person "power" over us. Each and every voice matters. Words and actions have power, PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH. Freedom might be scary, but it's a good thing.
The King is dead....long live the King? Up to us.
That pretty much sums up how I feel right now. So that happened, now back to work.
